Oooh, the fleas have bitten another top cop
By Friday it wasn't clear if General Bheki Cele had been sacked.
And Presidential spokesperson Mac Maharaj did not help much with his scowling, terse one-liners when perky reporters tested the cognitive dissonance of the spin machinery at his disposal.
In his usual vacuous tone, a looming dreadful response in the background, he dismissed the news as "rumour" and "speculation" - words no self-respecting reporter wants to hear from a seasoned communicator.
But by yesterday The Man came out of The Spear woodwork to confirm it, apparently sending down a constable to hand deliver the dreadful news.
The Cele saga, plain and simple, has "politics, failed relations and biblical seeds of the Cain-kills-Abel variety" stenciled on it.
Besides all the damning charges laid against him, Cele still believes the findings by the board of inquiry appointed by President Jacob Zuma contains an "irrational set of facts" that will not dent his reputation.
This is a similar narrative to that used by Jackie Selebi when he was found to be corrupt. He maintained that his hands were clean.
The fact that Cele is missing is that it's high noon in the ANC and the commies are mean and surly.
They walk a tight rope between taste and distaste. An example must be set - Cain must kill Abel to survive the naked fight.
Hours after the announcement that Cele was sacked, another dirty secret was swept out of the front porch of the police services.
It has emerged that acting national police commissioner Lieutenant-General Nhlanhla Mkhwanazi is not kosher either.
He apparently shares the fleas from the same blanket that Lieutenant-General Richard Mdluli and Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa slept in - helping himself to the police Secret Services Account.
If you care for alliterative names, check out how the three complete it - police commissioner, acting police commissioner, police minister. It's a lethal combination.
Mkhwanazi is to appear before the police portfolio committee on crime intelligence to explain how Secret Services Account funds were spent.
It is alleged 140 luxury vehicles were purchased on his watch using the Secret Services Account and it will be a stomach-wrenching moment for Mkhwanazi when he gets that look of sentient malice in parliament on Friday.
We can only feel for him and advise him to hit the crack pipe pretty heavy (if he's into these things) before facing the committee.
After all, it was Mkhwanazi who wrote in the SAPS magazine's March issue that: "As the people of South Africa use any vehicle to exercise their rights as enshrined in the Bill of Rights, others are not focusing their energy on fighting to defend the hard earned freedom and their right to life, but are satisfying their appetites through greed and corrupt activities."
These words will ring true when he is asked to explain how the slush fund was spent.
We thought the artful dishonesty of Humphrey Mmemezi was enough. But it seems he's not the only "ruthless sociopath" in pursuit of monetary wealth in government.
The question, of course, is will Cele get his full pension benefits?
The SAPS' dismissal without benefits document clearly states that fired members lose all their benefits, including two thirds of their pension contributions, housing allowance and bonus.
Mmemezi would look totally at home with an orange uniform.