That's a bell tolling, Mr Z
History is full of idiots who wanna be martyrs and heroes.
And on April 30 I might be one of them, joining a band of misfits in my neighbourhood to fulfil this long held ambition by joining the e-tolling strike.
Not that there will be shootings, but in case one meets a cranky and suicidally bored reservist on the way, a young man's name could be on a golden plague.
It's an uncontroversial fact that we don't want e-tolls.
It's not even "anti-revolutionary" - whatever this start-up cliché means.
This is food forced down our throats without a smidgen of guilt. It is erotic asphyxiation "delivered" with the disclaimer "whether you like it or not".
This is the ruling party's nostalgic attraction to apartheid - mimicking the past with all its stirring rendition of cruelty and greed.
What we are witnessing, ladies and gentlemen, is the carbon-based life form of apartheid government. At the moment they just don't have the guts to beat us up or shoot us in our driveways.
And the reason some of us froth at the mouth is because we sacrifice the fruit of our labour in the form of taxes, paying for many government projects that do not bear fruit, not to mention the ruling elite's mansions, fast cars, designer suits and rollicking parties.
E-tolling is the last thing we need. It's a costly dalliance.
No one I know who eats pap and gravy for breakfast loves the idea of e-tolls - unless he is from government and has this wonderful audacity to speak with candour on the pulpit, like the secretary general of the ANC or the artless spokesperson who tries without fail to inject some "class" into every media briefing he shares at Luthuli House.
The Snorting Grunter, that lovely place that sells milk to adults, where lovable boozers meet to share their inner thoughts and tell unpleasant truths, doesn't share government's enthusiasm for e-tolling.
They have long seen the moronic non-logic of this concept and ever since the announcement that this criminal act is continuing, they have been doing what is second nature to them - raising a drink to the death of reason.
No one wants e-tolls and that goes for deadbeat dads, paedophiles, snitches and "black diamonds" whose middle class status is hard to keep in place. The Joburg hippies too have come out of their foxholes to say this is not on.
The broad-minded fellows in the big pink tent reckon there will be a funeral if this bloody thing continues.
So that goes for everyone.
We are talking here about people who are statistical anomalies who agree on one thing: that we are being punked. We are being taken for fools.
The e-tolling strike is a necessary stunt to kick off our displeasure at government since we are not in a position to topple it.
We don't have the dramatic thrust of the Arab Spring to tar and feather our leaders, nor do we have the necessary snarl to threaten it.
The strike should be the spoiler - a warning to government that the little adorable kids of this country have had it.
And this is more newsworthy than JZ's nuptials and the tribalism thread in the ANC that came through this week.
Cheap news, if you ask me.
E-tolls should be stopped by any means necessary because the people have spoken.
They don't want this greedy machine.