Nu talent, ol' hat - Ringing ears, eerie silences 'n big clothes
TALK, talk, talk, yap, yap, yap, yadda yadda yadda. Yhu!
That's what we were subjected to at the SA's Got Talent media launch last Wednesday.
Had it not been for the reinforced windows, Shwashwi woulda been history. OMG, let's not even touch on that.
Sponsored by Lunch Bar - say it with me: calories!
The dooh, by the way, was on one of the highest floors at The Venue in Green Park at the World Trade Centre in Morningside, north of Jozi.
The outside is a bit dodgy but once inside it's a top notch building.
And the view is breathtaking!
Back to the dooh.
SA's Got Talent (SAGT) presenter and comedian Tats Nkonzo was host for the evening.
Ok, he was funny most of the time.
He just needs to polish his skills here and there to prevent those awkward silent moments between jokes.
You know, when no one is laughing and there's this eerie silence.
Always makes moi cringe.
Judge Ian Von Memerty also made moi cringe when he did the tsipa tsipa dance moves. Eeeeek!
Yes, he did it to perfection but its now 2012 and the new dance craze is hlokoloza. Even that is fading away.
Where has this man been?
After the leeeennngthy speeches a ray of light in the form of dance troupe Tembisa Revolution shone brightly. They showed us why they took the Step Up or Step Out dance title.
I prayed out loud that their routine would go on forever. I feared the PR activities were far from over.
Turns out they were. The relief!
Then came actor and muso Clint Brink. Did my eardrums take a beating or what?
They're still ringing today. Oh Clint, so much for honouring women and all. I think I'm gonna lay a charge of audio assault against you. Or is that public disturbance?
I wonder if the hug Shado Twala gave you was legit.
I also wonder if that performance would've made it through the first round of SAGT?
Moving on, I thought Tats' comments were funny until I saw The Wild's Wandile Molebatsi!
O.M.G! Everything he had on was at least two sizes too big! The big grey coat, the trousers bunched around his ankles...
Was that a scarecrow impersonation or have you just shrunk?
And don't even get moi started on the co-ordination.
I was relieved when he finally took off his grey, heavy coat - only to discover that his shirt and tie were humungous too!
I mean, in relation to his body. The incredible shrinking man?
And guess who else graced us with his presence?
Journo Lesley Mofokeng.
I guess he feels a new sense of importance now that he's penned what's-her- name's book.
Wait, were those randoms I saw asking him for autographs?
Think I should consider going that route too.
Moi's talents are of course endless. Actually, one draws the line at sleaze.
One doesn't wish to sink too low, even to achieve the dizzy heights of fame.