High 'n mighty
Contrary to popular belief, Shwashwi does have a heart, as well as a spiritual side.
So in the spirit of Easter, moi broke my church drought, clutched my Bible and headed to the South African State Theatre in Pretoria for the MTN Joyous Celebration 16 2012 tour kick-off.
Moi lost count at number 10. Clearly there's no stopping them.
Just like there's no stopping moi.
What a decent and sober event though! No arbs crowding sacred spaces with beer bottles and all.
It's such a relief to be around decent peeps once in a while.
I've never seen such an energised performance in my life. You do know that the Pope has vetoed Red Bull?
But seriously, Lindelani Mkhize must've hired one hell of a personal trainer.
How does one sing and jump up and down at the same time and not run out of steam?
And was it just moi or did he do the moonwalk at some point?
Same question goes to Akhumzi Jezile, who came in like a bolt of lighting and mimicked the moves to perfection.
His bosom buddy Musa Mthombeni tried relentlessly to calm him down.
Akhumzi declared his unwavering love for gospel music - and gym, because they both contribute to his wellbeing and sanity, apparently.
Oh, also spotted what looked like a wedding band. Could it be the result of a brief visit to Home Affairs this past week, hun?
Please do share. I'm waiting in breathless anticipation.
Enough Akhumzi gossip. Musa Mthombeni, whom I heard is the reason behind YFM's recent fab ratings, is a breath of fresh air.
He's anything but a spotlight hogger, unlike someone whose name escapes me right now.
Love the shy type. It's always so tempting to corrupt them.
But it's important to resist temptation, apparently... where was I again?
Oh, yes, Joyous Celebration.
I swear I'm not the only one who saw a staircase appear, ascending to the heavens as in Jacob's ladder, when Ncebakazi Nkantsu took hold of the mic.
But I opted to remain on earth until the end of the show.
Though I wish I hadn't stayed long enough to hear some gatvol idiot ordering the worshippers, who were apparently obstructing his view, to sit down.
I silently hoped his clothes would catch fire. But that was a sinful thought. Oh dear.
I suppose a hot klap on both cheeks wouldn't have been appropriate either?
Onto something more pleasant. Uyanda Msani, who can't be a day older than 11, deserves to be called the Eighth Wonder of the World.
Shwashwi watched in astonishment when he played the drums like a pro.
Whose child is that? Can I adopt him?
Nkanyiso Bhengu finally got a chance to sing with Mthunzi Namba.
Moi, like other regular folk - actually, lose the "other" - also has my groupie moments, thought obviously less dramatic than the arbs.
Got a reputation to uphold, yo.
During the break I saw Nambitha Mpumlwana with her son in tow.
Oh, the perks of having a famous mommy. OK, so it's a gospel event but wasn't it way past his bedtime?
Also spotted socialite and publicist MaBlerh, who was all smiles.
Oh, but he's a breath of fresh air. Moi needs you in my life, hun.
We'd be such a toxic combination.
As moi and sidekick were leaving the holy venue, I overheard Lindani Ndwandwe reminding the guests that he's the reason why the Joyous members' wardrobe was beyond fabulous and up to date.
I rarely caress egos, but you, hun, deserve a medal for a sterling job.
Don't you wanna dress Shwashwi too? Pleeeeze!