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DESIGNER POSE: Lalla Hirayama schmoozled up to rag fundi David Tlale

SHORT 'N SWEET: Poppy Ntshongwana's anecdotes - not to mention her top

Bless the 10 sculpted and topless gods who will give moi sleepless nights for the rest of the year. Damn but the man upstairs is creative!

OK, so you think Shwashwi is a hypocrite but, unlike the Hush skanks, these dudes were classy!

For those that missed the dooh, not to worry - there's a calendar featuring them in all their glory.

The event was sexy but the "after-party" was a bit of a yawn. Moi almost dozed off on the couch. Imagine! Zzzzz...

Oh sorry, where was I?

Oh yes, the men were über sexy - all 10 of them. Wait, I already said that. Let's try this again...

MC for the evening was 5FM's Poppy Ntshongwana, who did a stellar job. I love people who get to the point and don't depress us with over-rehearsed speeches.

Not sure about the whole "show your midriff" top she wore though, no matter how toned your abs are.

Maybe moi is clueless about fashion. You can't know it all, not even me. I know it's impossible to believe.

Oh gosh, I love talking about myself, to myself...

I must ask - who the hell voted for Bobby van Jaarsveld to win the grand prize? I mean, really? Is he hotter than Top Billing's Janez Vermeiren and rugby player Lukhanyo Nontshinga?

Call me biased, but no, even Shwashwi could've given Bobby a run for his moolah.

Another hottie who should've been on the calendar was Selimathunzi presenter and Calvin Klein model Lunga Shabalala.

Hmmm, so disappointed he wore a long-sleeved shirt and long pants. But then I suppose a bit of mystery is titillating.

Did moi overwhelm you Lunga? I'm not sorry.

If it's any consolation my eyes are really sore.

Also spotted David Tlale in the crowd.

Apparently he was warming up for his send-off party.

The way he frequents the Big Apple, one would swear he has a family there.

And why was moi not invited to the party? I thought we were friends. Clearly not.

It was a pleasure to see the yummy Lalla Hirayama and her man Chris Nkosi, who bragged that he's gonna throw the mother of all parties for her soon.

Watch it dude, you don't wanna bring down the Zwelinzima Vavi's wrath. Think of all those poor peeps... actually, just think of moi.

Papa Glen Lewis, who looked exhausted, mingled with fans on the red carpet and begged moi's lensman not to take a pic of him.

Who's fault is it that you were out past your bedtime?

Oh, lemme guess - you came to put us to sleep with some deep house? Sorry I missed the pyjama party.

Guess who I saw on my way out? Jen Su, dressed as though she was going to the J&B Met.

Honey, that was last weekend. Ag, but you proved that African time doesn't only apply to darkies.