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HANGING ON: The reveliers clung to the bar like primrose clings to her rich hubby Theunis Crous

 The country bumpkins were gawking at the sore sight of the trio - Dr Duda, Mo-T and J'something - who stood out like a lost Eiffel Tower in the middle of nowhere 

This is the time when invites just throw themselves in my inbox in the same way that Khanyi Mbau throws herself at rich sugar daddies.

You do know that Shwashwi is everywhere, don't you? So be warned.

We descended on unsuspecting East Londoners at Rhythm Divine club to check on the country bumpkins. Aaarghh, East London is a sleepy little outback town!

And since there were few celebs around, I jumped in and basked in the glory.

Except for MiCASA, who shot into the little town like a tornado.

The country bumpkins were gawking at the sore sight of the trio - Dr Duda, Mo-T and J'something - who stood out like a lost Eiffel Tower in the middle of nowhere.

They gave a stellar performance worth all the adulation they're currently getting.

But the fun was spoilt by indifferent plebs who were more interested in booze than entertainment.

The cheap booze flowed and the drought-stricken plebs demanded refills rather than watch MiCASA.

It soon became apparent that's what they'd come for.

My goodness, asking punters to stop imbibing cheap stuff is like, well... asking trophy wife Primrose Crous to dump her obscenely rich hubby Theunis.

DJ Roro mounted the decks to spin them discs.

He has a colourless name, just like his neutral set. It sounds like a grandma's pet name for her ... err ... favourite pet.

Roro, you should consider changing your name to DJ Gogo's Boy.

Spotted DJ Master Jam, who excitedly told me that he's about to become a dad again.

He told me the same thing sometime in 2010.

Goodness me, looks like he's fathering babies by the bucketloads.

It must be all those unfortunate groupies mothering them.

At the speed he's going he'll soon have his own nation.

DJ Giggs dragged along his gorgeous East London-born girlfriend, who seemed nonchalant about the whole razzmatazz.

She wouldn't give us her name.

They must have been visiting home for some Christmas potjiekos.

Must admit I'd have loved to see all three of them in the same room but Jam chose to spoil it by avoiding the VVIP lounge.

J'Something is hot in the flesh and has an expressive personality for someone from a small dorpie like Grahamstown.

Jeez! The groupies all wanted a piece of him.

Mo-T plays a seductive trumpet.

Love boys with toys.

Oh, thanks Jason and Anthony for the hospitality.