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Colourful met, mostly
In Biblical times destiny was delivered in the form of a burning bush, but today true destiny is often engraved in a fabulous invite.
Last week Shwaswhi was in her full fabulous element in Cape Town for the A-List social event of the year, the J&B Met, themed “full colour”, and people did not disappoint with colour.
Celebs go on the road to fame
Remember the ’80s Shell Road To Fame talent show? Ag, gone are those days when TV was worth watching.

Good times roll
Haters, turn to the next page ’cos this article might be harmful to your jealousy-riddled hearts!
I am going to B-R-A-G!
So JZ and fans tell me … Where do you get the time?
Since last week Sunday I have been too embarrassed to walk outside my house in case I overheard somebody discussing President Jacob Zuma’s private life.
  • Charmza of the week
  • Moegoe of the week
  • Kent, Fresh ‘n... baby grows?
    Hello, my party peeps. Last Saturday, while some of you were battling insomnia because of the debts you accumulated during the festive season, some of us were having a “Fresh and Kentalicious” time at Rhythm Divine.

    High, dry ‘n safe
    So the party’s parties were so great Shwashwi went to check out if our cops were as good at throwing bashes as they are at bashing people.

    Hot ‘n Zizilicious
    While some of you were thinking about where you were going to get your next meal from this month, Shwashwi and sidekicks were partying up a storm with the who’s who of Mzansi.
  • Pictures: See who graced Zizi’s 40th birthday party
  • Bit less of the Jab Jab
    Did you hear the story about the “Mermaid” and the dude with a rash on his penis?
    OK, come closer and I will tell you how weak we South Africans are.
    Answer Fast, I have to hide
    What on earth possessed Carol Behane (Lebo in Zone 14), to buy that blonde wig? Sisi, when I saw you in the newspaper I honestly thought you were gogo Dorothy Masuka.
    Zizi Kodwa’s 40th birthday bash
    Zizi Kodwa, the man who speaks for President Jacob Zuma, celebrated his 40th birthday at Taboo, Sandton, surrounded by celebs, muso’s and politicians. Click here to check out who graced his bash...
    Ooh, pass da juice, quickly
    If Zola isn’t moering them, he is having sex with them and the next thing they are holding his babies.
    Rags to bitches
    This season, celebrities have been drawn to Joburg Fashion Week like moths to a flame. I must say Fashion Week is the best thing so far this year.
  • Picture gallery: Jozi’s elite party all over town
  • Picture gallery: Fashion Week highlights
  • Da party ‘n ms party pants
    When my political sidekick passed on the invite to attend the ruling party’s birthday celebration, I asked myself if this was really how I needed to start my festive activities.
    By attending the ANC’s 98th birthday party?

    Ag pleeez, schlebs, do it for you
    It’s only the third week of the new year and already Shwashwi’s inbox is full of party invites. This promises to be one exciting year.

    Answer fast, she’s after me
    This one is for you, reader. Tell us if you agree: Shwashwi doesn’t even want to hear Julius fart this year!
  • Another one for the readers: Have you ever wondered if Ju Ju Baby can back up his stupidity in the sack? Iko Mash must put him to the test.
  • Don’t flaunt it, nyatsis - The wives are laughing at you and their rejects
    The year started badly for me and I realise that I’ve been wrong about many things, people and especially men.
    The truth must come out this year
    For decades Shwashwi has wanted these questions answered. But because of a persistent booze problem we always forget to ask

    Celebs we give up on you this year
    Whoo-hee. It’s a new year and Shwashwi is feeling fresh....
    Celebs who need a very quiet 2010
    Shwashwi socks it to them...

    Couples we don’t want to see in 2010
    Shwashwi pulls no punches on this one....

    Couples we want to see together
    Sometimes Shwashwi wants love and since we have good hearts we propose the following celebs pair up and go on a couple of dates – you might like it.

    A fab ‘whites only’ affair
    For a moment I thought I was watching SABC1 when I saw Winnie Ntshaba (Khethiwe), Dumisani Mbebe (Dumisani), Slindile Nodangala (Mam’ Ruby in Generations) and nanny Sarah, real name is Deli.

    You too can be LOOPY
    Once again, Metro FM’s Lupi Ngcayisa is going out of his way to make sure kids have school shoes.
    Now you know - You men are odd
    Men puzzle me and I was hoping somebody could help me answer these questions:

    Cape Met - We have a winner!
    The Kenilworth Racecourse will transform into a party zone as 50,000 fashionistas dress to this year’s theme – In Full Colour!
    Oh, get a life celebs! Oops, too late... she jumped, he OD’d...
    I have been good and responsible not to overdose because I’m not an idiot. Drama queen, perhaps, but not an idiot.
    CELEBS’ RESOLUTIONS FOR 2010
    SCHLEBS are busy folk and hardly have the time to make resolutions, so Shwashwi took the time to think of some for them.
    SHWASHWI HAD A DREAM
    We too have dreams at Shwashwi Towers and since it’s a new year we think we should share them
  • Click here to find more on the Shwashwi page
  • SHWASHWI IS A PERVERT AND PROUD OF IT
    Check out the sexiest gals of 2009 and admit you are too
    DID YOU KNOW - Some folk are ungrateful
    Instead of ignoring this local young boy I continuously saw begging at the traffic light, I decided to help – not by giving him money, but a job doing odds and bobs around the yard, paying and feeding him.
    MY MOMENT - I love you, aunty
    It must be said that I am brilliant at most things but cleaning isn’t one of them.
    NOW YOU KNOW - Don’t drink and drive
    Black people, let’s get into the culture of not drinking and driving.
    Charmza
    SOUTH African middle distance runner Mokgadi Caster Semenya is a strong-willed, charming young woman.
    Moegoe
    OH Mandla, Mandla Mandla, you’re the un-rivalled moegoe of the year!
    Why all the fuss? - Tigers hunt, men cheat...
    I am not really sure why everybody is going on and on about Tiger Woods’s womanising, as clearly the poor man had no choice.
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