Wed Oct 18 16:43:39 SAST 2017

2011 - what sweet juice!

2011-12-31 12:35:54.0 | AMANDA NGUDLE |

Relationships are supposed to be private, unless of course you are a celeb or a scorned lover.

HUBBY SNATCHER? KB Motsilenyane. Picture by Mabuti Kali

Otherwise how would we sell papers?

The year 2011 carried more drama than most see in their chick flicks.

  • First it was the love spectacle of Kelly Khumalo and Jub Jub, with some gruesome spat details. Stories of alleged abuse, with maNtombi Khumalo having received her own hot klaps, and the marathon trial left us seriously concerned. Many thought they'd seen the last of their love mayhem after Khumalo sang the blues to a weekly magazine for cash. She said she was done with him. But those close to the pair said they were still joined at the hip.
  • Afro-jazz songbird Judith Sephuma and famous lensman Siphiwe Mhlambi's "marital bliss" took over when the allegation beast reared its ugly head to make our golden couple look like the best dressed facade. Sephuma, a mother of five, was accused of committing infidelity with Nigerian muso Kunle Ayo.
  • We also gasped for breath when actor Seputla Sebogodi parted ways with wife number three, Shereen Maubane, amid more cheating accusations. Then it ended, putting to bed any possibility of doubt.
  • But Sebogodi's drama was nothing compared to his colleague's Dumisani Mbebe's cookie jar shenanigans. The hitched Mbebe left the mother of his child, Asanda Lamane, high and dry after allegedly begging her to have his child in the heat of the moment. It's always sad when innocent kids are involved.
  • It was as if a new era was being ushered in when Andile Gaelisiwe and her estranged hubby Udo Carelse spoke of a reunion but Andile Ncube and Rosette spoilt all the fun when they fought so much that it looked like their little girl would have to go without a dad. Luckily, the parents soon put their fighting gloves behind them to form a united front to raise their baby.
  • We were almost floored when we heard that singer KB stole a handsome dude from his wife of many years. He came with a nice name too. Leo Dlamini, a dashing businessman with kids. So besotted was KB that she allegedly started buying the innocent angels gifts before Dlamini could leave his old nest. Love will make you do strange things.
  • We weren't so shocked, though, when Putco Mafani sent his wife Bongiwe flying with yet another sex scandal.
  • It could've been ugly had it not been for the gripping scandal of Zoleka Mandela and actor Sekoati Tsubane. These two's troubles started with the death of their baby. The irreparable damage led to a whole lotta thrills when they started hanging their dirty linen in public, with both talking about the other's drug use.
  • Sello Maake ka-Ncube's top drawer material took the accolade for the funniest ransom when his ex came for her belongings, only for Ncube to lose his marbles. Never have we experienced such drama from a man refusing to let go of stuff that doesn't belong to him.
  • And, as can be expected with overseas weddings, we had it on good authority that Juju and Lizelle Tabane got secretly acquainted in Mauritius. Juju denied it non-stop only to fuel what had been revealed.
  • Enter Joyce Mulamu and Fikile Mbalula. Many questions still go unanswered, such as: what happened to the bun that was supposed to have been in the oven?
  • And there was politician China Dodovu's public display of his money-fuelled romance gone wrong. His girlfriend Leziwe Sondake is by far the most prolific mistress in the history of transactional affairs.
  • But guess who gave all these scandalous celebs the boot in the most read stakes? None other than the non-celebrity video cops who bonked on duty. Which just goes to show that when it's sleazy and daring, it hits a nerve. No wonder pastor Jabu Hlongwane and his said affair with Kuki Mncube only comes first when you eliminate the non-celeb cops.

It's been a hectic year.

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