Kelly's big TV fuss - A boring series of cheap shots
Someone needs to stop the camera rolling with Kelly because the whole thing is an embarrassment writes Amanda Ngudle.
One should find oneself watching reality TV show Rolling With Kelly only by default - or if you are so bedridden you can't reach for the remote to change the channel.
It is a spectacle for the blind.
Played out in a hollow echo-making mansion, the reality show is nothing more than moving pictures. Other than Khumalo herself, no one seems to grasp the reality TV concept.
Her manager Sarah Shongwe, whom I suspect secured this deal, makes it all about her and is sure to appear in the background, if not in the middle spot.
This is the same woman who was behind Khumalo's semi-nude image when she first made it into the limelight. Her record label also tried to take Khumalo to the cleaners back in 2007 after she released a single with a rival record company.
But today, her tweeter profile reads: "Sarah Inc. Agency Owner/Kelly Khumalo's Manager/ Co-Author of The Kelly Khumalo Story/God's Girl."
What was Godly about her objecting to Khumalo inviting the embattled Jub Jub to his son's birthday party?
Shongwe said: "I think that will be career suicide."
I have met scoundrels with a better heart than "God's Girl".
There's another actor (she really seems to think she is acting) - Khumalo's mom. She withdrew all her savings to buy meat for her grandson's birthday party. How much meat can that be to cost the poor woman "all" her savings?
How low budget is this show?
Let me count the ways. It's as stingy as Rolling With Kenny.
While DStv pays decently for such shows and has made people rich, e.tv continues paying peanuts for people to hang their fake lives on TV.
Kunene once even boasted that he forked out cold cash for most of the content.
Which explains why Khumalo is still driving her own Hummer from her days with Jub Jub.
Couldn't they find sponsors?
Now they scrape the bottom of the barrel for friends. What woman is going to seek parental advice from a male colleague who is part of production?
How many people refer to their mother's households by their suburb name rather than "home" or "mom's place"?
The reality is, Kelly could have put on a better show. Sure they want it to revolve around her journey on the career mend and that she needs a manager, but viewers don't want to see underdogs trying to snatch the glory from the stars of the show.
They are fine as extras and should act and sound as such. But Khumalo is too scared to kick the hand that feeds her.
And this is why she continues to play the cash cow.